Thursday, May 21, 2009

Avoid Procrastination and Move on in Life

Wise men say that you should do today what can be done tomorrow. But, many people think the opposite and will do tomorrow what actually needs to be completed today and this habit is referred to as procrastination. It is obvious that you need to avoid procrastination as much as possible though at the same time it must also be admitted that we all love to procrastinate. It is only when the procrastination habit interferes with work and our family life that we will need to learn to avoid procrastination as if it were a plague.


Don’t Let Things Drift

Unfortunately, unless you avoid procrastination you will end up doing what every procrastinator loves to do and that is to allow things to drift while pressing matters are allowed to remain incomplete. You can easily avoid procrastination by doing simple things such as making up your bed as soon as you get up in the morning or you can file mail and answer them as soon as it comes in and it also means putting the dishes into the dishwasher immediately after dinner.

Once you get the routine things over and done with you will be in a better position to avoid procrastination because mostly it is allowing essential daily duties to remain incomplete that helps to promote the habit of procrastinating. On the other hand, if you inculcate good habits it will become routine matter for you to complete all your important tasks on time and you will then start acting like a plane does when it is being flown on auto pilot.

You need to avoid procrastination before procrastination ruins your life. No successful person has ever been known to procrastinate. They make lists of important things to do and then do them; procrastinators do not care about anything but having a good time. It is all too easy for a person to waste precious time fretting over inconsequential things while allowing important things to remain unfulfilled. You need to avoid procrastination and instead do everything necessary to devote your energies to getting the job done. Not only will this allow you to live life happily but it will also improve your self esteem and benefit you in other ways as well.

Learning how to avoid procrastination is not difficult and anyone that has the will and energy to learn can do so. By avoiding procrastination you will start getting things done with on time and this will ensure living a less stressed life while also enabling you to attain your goals and move on in life.


Source: Linkroll

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Forgiving is all about moving on in life

Forgiveness is described as the first of the 10 virtues of righteousness. The recently observed 10-day Jain festival of Paryushan Parva celebrates these virtues and concludes by exhorting all to ask each other's forgiveness for any offending action.

In Buddhism, the quality of karuna or compassion and kindness includes the ability and willingness to forgive. The Qur'an enjoins followers of Islam to "Be foremost in seeking forgiveness" (51:1). Jesus spoke from the Cross: "Father, forgive them (executioners), for they know not what they do" (Luke 23:34).

By forgiving one another, strained relationships can be healed. The act of forgiveness can soothe away emotional pain. It sets one on the spiritual path.

Forbearance is a pre-requisite for forgiveness. It implies overcoming anger through practice of tolerance even in the most adverse situations. It is a positive emotion and a conscious act of will.

It helps us to overcome resentment; it decreases feeling of hurt and insult; it also enables us to forget other's weaknesses, shortcomings and faults. It not only enhances interpersonal relationships but also leads to improved understanding of self and others.

Forgiveness heralds the beginning of enlightenment, peace and happiness

Forgiveness is an attribute of a calm and peaceful mind and heralds the beginning of enlightenment, peace and happiness. There is no rest or repose of mind for those who brood over slights, injuries and wrongs. Hatred and violence multiplied in retaliation creates a spiral of destruction.

An eye for an eye leaves the world blind, as Mahatma Gandhi said. Revenge, which is the opposite of forgiveness, is a virus that eats into the very vitals of the mind, and poisons one's entire being, physical and spiritual.

Resentment is a mental fever which burns up the wholesome energies of the mind, and "taking offence" is a form of moral sickness which saps the healthy flow of kindliness and goodwill. Forgiveness is beneficial at both personal and social levels.

While the importance of practising forgiveness has been extolled for centuries, it is only recently that research studies have demonstrated its important health benefits and forgiveness is being increasingly used as a stress management tool for reducing anger and depression as well as for enhancing hopefulness and self-efficacy.

People with a forgiving nature are said to have lower blood pressure than those who are less forgiving. That hostility and anger, or resentment and bitterness have been linked with poor health, hypertension and heart problems, is proved in a study, largest ever, conducted by Stanford Forgiveness Project.

The forgiveness training, the study revealed, resulted in a 70 per cent decrease in feeling of hurt, 13 per cent reduction in long-term experience of anger, 27 per cent reduction in physical symptoms of stress backache, dizziness, headache and 15 per cent decrease in emotional experience of stress.

The chief beneficiary of forgiveness is the one who forgives. Forgiveness is sound ethics that safeguards our mental and physical health and spiritual well-being. Those who try to get even with their enemies discover to their dismay that they hurt themselves more in the process.

Of course, one has to suffer the consequences of one's actions. Yet, to forgive and forget is to create positive energy; it helps bring about a climate of peace.

Source: Jain Mission (indiatimes Spirituality)

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

What Can You Do To Improve Your Chances Of Successfully Moving On After Divorce Involving Children?

Children are severely affected by divorce. Stressed conversations, ugly custody conflicts, or sporadic visitation can cause drastic modifications in their demeanor. It is common for children to go through depression, regression, or even display hostility towards other kids. They are simply required to survive divorce and it can be a frustrating task. They can feel ashamed and bitter due to the dismantling of their family. When they realize that their parents will no longer stay together, they can be annoyed and incapable of sleeping properly. Here are some assistive tips:

The parent who stays with the children should support them in these difficult times. For instance, if your kid is being unobliging, and you become angry or frustrated, attempt to have a chat with them and find out what is going on in their head. This will aid to establish your child’s good feelings. Expression of love is very important for kids at this time.

Children’s peers can likewise provide additional support through support groups.

As a parent, you should already know that you should not leave your child alone. It would be advantageous for your kid to refrain from leaving them alone socially as well. Childcare services may help them to understand different types of families.

You should seek to apply affirmative discipline towards your kids so that they become positive citizens of tomorrow. For example, if your children are between 6 to 8 years of age, then it is necessary that you reinforce regulations that will facilitate them to produce individual goals. If your kid performs well on tests or after-school activities, reward him or her and give positive feedback. When speaking to your kids, think before you speak and do not use abusive words. “I” messages help greatly. Controlling language should be averted because it may hurt them more than you think. Therefore, it is very important for you to choose your words carefully.

You can likewise play games with your kids along with your ex. This will help your kid understand that mommy and dad will love them forever, even if they were no longer together.

Consistency in routines, logical sequences, and a large dose of tenderness are regarded the best tools for children enduring divorce. Make sure that your child is not an eyewitness to your anger. You should find safe releases for your anger. Reprimanding the other parent in front of the child can have a damaging impact on your child's self-esteem. You should be mindful that your child loves their other parent as well; consequently if you knock your ex, your child will emphatically experience remorse or discomfort. If you shout or talk abusively to your partner, this will damage your child. Bad mouthing or hollering at your ex, deeply affects the harmony you share with your child.

If you really care for your kid, then you will try to develop a positive relationship with your ex. If you cannot be with your ex then at to the lowest degree be civil. You should never discuss divorce matters with your child.


Source: Joseph Carter (ArticleDashboard.com)

Monday, May 18, 2009


Moving On After Your Husband Dumps You

You had the marriage everybody envied, the beautiful house, two children and a loving husband. Overnight without any warning you’ve lost it all. By a single callous act by your husband your home has been torn apart. Marriages take a lot of work and effort and one usually invests in it as an endeavour of a lifetime, showering it with single minded love, devotion and attention. The process of creating a perfect home calls for a lot of sacrifices and some women forget any other existence. In this scenario when a man dumps the woman unannounced it can be devastating.To begin with it can seem almost unreal and leave a woman reeling under the shock of being dumped unceremoniously for no obvious fault of hers. The shock gives way to grief, anger, insecurity, uncertainty all rolled into one. It can take a long time to come to terms with reality and even accept it. Especially when there had been no warning signs or no particular discord or disagreement, being slapped with a divorce notice can be terribly difficult to handle. However, it is something that does happen and women have to learn to cope with it and move on.

Accepting Reality

When one is faced with a circumstance that is heart breaking like a callous partner slapping a divorce notice, the natural instinct might be to hide away from the world and pretend everything was just fine. Not facing up to reality though does not change anything. The reality to face is that someone you loved and trusted has let you down. You might have given up several personal dreams and ambitions so you could build a home that was filled with love and security. You may have children whose very world revolves around the two of you. In such a circumstance it can seem like life is so terribly unfair.Being short changed by a callous partner might make you feel bitter and shattered. You might reach a point where you feel like you just cannot go on and that everything that you lived for was lost. Difficult as it might be at such times it is important to hang in there and not become a victim of someone else’s callous act.

You cannot change an unpleasant situation but what you can do is help yourself move on and heal. The first step to moving on from being abandoned is to accept reality. Understand that your partner wants out and that while you may lose him you shouldn’t lose what you are entitled to and the chance of a new and better future for yourself.

Get Your Share

While coming to terms with a partner handing a divorce notice might leave you feeling helpless and lonely don’t let the situation short change you more than it should. Reach out to family and friends for support. If you feel it would help you to speak to a third party you can seek counselling.

If you have children let them be your priority and ensure that they know you still love them and will do your best to continue to give them the lifestyle they know. Don’t let your partner’s act close your eyes to what you are entitled to. Speak to a good lawyer and know your rights and make sure that you come off well settled and without financial loss.The least your partner can do is to ensure that you and the children are well settled and have no financial worries. It may be clichéd but if you love someone you must set them free, if they are meant to come back they will else you will find some far more worthy of your love.

Life is a combination of doing the right thing and being positive. Doing the right and smart thing would be to seek legal counsel so your partner will not get away without giving you what you deserve. Being positive means reaching out to friends, understanding that your attitude will dictate your future and that of your children.

Conclusion

It is easy to get pedantic and dish out advice to people in an unhappy situation than having to go through it yourself. However, the bottom line is that line does come a full circle and this too shall pass. While you should be allowed to grieve and moan the loss of a great life you had built, never go too far down that road that you forget that you are an individual and you have the right to a better life. Instead of looking at a divorce as an end , look it at it as a whole new beginning.


Source: James Walsh (ArticleDashboard.com)

Friday, May 15, 2009

Are You Stuck? Gratitude Is The Key To Moving On


Is your life moving toward your vision, your goals, your dreams, or are you stuck, feeling that no matter what you do you can’t get out of that place you’re in and don’t want to be? On the surface it seems a paradox to say that gratitude is vital to moving forward, so let’s examine our premise that gratitude - for everything in our lives, both “good” and “bad” - is essential to moving forward.

We attract exactly what we think about. If we are in the space of being unhappy with what we have and constantly think about what it is that we don’t want, the Universe will be certain to give us more of it. However, if we can find something – anything - positive about what we are interpreting as “bad,” and then be genuinely grateful for that, we will create space for ourselves to move forward. One way to do that is to analyze what lessons we can learn from where we are and what we have experienced. Every experience in our lives has a lesson to offer and every lesson, even the very difficult ones, are deserving of our gratitude.

What we resist pushes back with equal force. If we are in a place where we don’t want to be and we continually resist being there, we have no space to go anywhere else. We must know that we are exactly where we are supposed to be at any given time in our lives (if we’re not where we are supposed to be, we would be somewhere else!) and be grateful. Again, look at the lessons to be learned. One lesson to be learned from this Universal law is that by wishing for what we don’t have, rather than being grateful for what we have, we make what isn’t more important than what is. How much sense does that make? Create gratitude for what is because it’s all you have. Once we do that – you guessed it – there’s space to move forward.

All our life experiences are intrinsically valuable. My mentor has taught me that everything we experience in our lives, even pain and abuse and illness and poverty and war, contribute to what we need to learn in order to fulfill our lives’ purpose. That realization turned a childhood filled with abuse around for me and allowed me to accept what happened to me as a gift. From that gift, I was able to first learn about love and compassion and forgiveness so that I can now teach love and compassion and forgiveness in the world. How grateful I am for those experiences!

Awareness is the first step. Start becoming aware of what you are thinking. Most of us are thinking all the time and are rarely aware of those thoughts. Are your thoughts (the chatter that goes on in your head all the time) positive or negative, constructive or destructive? Start to be aware of your thoughts. Be grateful for the positive ones and start to recreate the negative ones into something you can be grateful for. In the beginning this exercise requires constant vigilance. Keep reminding yourself to check out what you are thinking. Post notes to yourself on the walls and mirrors, if necessary, but do this. It is essential to creating gratitude in your life and gratitude is essential to creating your vision, your goals and your dreams.

The Universe likes harmony and rewards it. What better way to create harmony than to be grateful for who we are, where we are and what we have in our lives? Remember: whatever it is, our gratitude for it will make it valuable to us.

Source: Rachelle Stern (ArticleDashboard.com)

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Moving On With Your Life

Whether your marriage ends due to the death of your spouse or due to a divorce, it is important that you move on with your life.

Yes, that comment is easier to say than to do, but it is critical that you don't allow grief or depression to take control.

Understand that you may find yourself dealing with the stages of death and dying during your divorce process. The stages include denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.

Allow yourself time to get things done. If an item is hard to do, or a decision is difficult to make, then wait. You will know when the time is right.


Physical Concerns

· Eat healthy foods and avoid too much alcohol, drugs, caffeine, sugars or tobacco.

· Exercise regularly.

· Drink water.

· Maintain a regular schedule.

Emotional Concerns

· Be good to yourself.

· Keeping resentment, bitterness, anger, and hostility in your heart can make you physically ill. Work on letting go of this negativity.

· Get out of the house now and then.

· Cry.

· Find and do things that bring joy and laughter to your life.

· Start a personal journal.

· Join a support group.

· If you or your children need professional help, get it.

Practical Concerns

· Avoid hasty decisions...wait a year before selling the house, moving, or making any major purchases.

· Get a post office box.

· Don't become romantically involved with anyone for at least a year. You need this year for introspection and personal growth.

· Stay in charge of your own life. Don't let the kids take over.

· If your spouse has died, answer the mail and condolence letters. If your marriage ended in a divorce, share the news with friends and associates. It's part of the healing process.

· Ask for specific help from family and friends when you need it.

Financial and Legal Concerns

· Change bank accounts.

· Notify Social Security, business associates, employees, organizations, banks, auto registration, credit cards, bond and stock titles, and real estate titles of your change in marital status.

· Review auto, home and personal insurance needs.

· Don't pay any bills you are unsure of until you verify their authenticity.

· Hold off on paying medical and legal bills until they are all in.

· Ask the funeral home for 6-8 copies of the death certificate. In the case of a divorce, get several copies of your final divorce decree.

· Keep Social Security, bank account, and insurance numbers handy.

· Set up a file for copies of everything that has to do with the estate or divorce, including notes from telephone conversations.

· Whether you are coping with death or divorce, you will have to deal with the personal belongings of your spouse. Don't run away from emptying drawers and closets.

Don't let someone else do this for you. It is a necessary part of the grieving process. It may be helpful to have someone with you who is understanding and can share your memories and stories.

· File insurance claims. Check on mortgage, credit, or work related insurance policies also.




Source: Sheri & Bob Stritof (About.com)

Thursday, May 7, 2009


Tips on Moving on After a Bad Break-up

Ah, the pain of a break up! You’ve throwing a lot of things in your house, and you’ve been missing phone calls, and probably skipping your meals too. Every one goes through the same destructive process of moving on – well some of us, at least. Depression due to a bad break up feels like there’s no tomorrow, doesn’t it? And indeed you’ll never see the light of day again unless you start going out again.

And by going out I mean having lunch with old friends, and more especially, meeting new ones.The past usually haunts us whenever we’re alone. To prevent such tragic reminiscences, try to be around people often. And by doing so, ask yourself if you’re ready to date again.

One way to make yourself available once again is to finalize your past. If you need closure to move on with your life then talk with your ex and clear things out. Letting go is much easier if you were able to say all things you wanted to say to your ex.

Stop thinking that there’s something wrong with you. You’re not perfect (just like everyone else) but don’t go taking all the blame for the break up unless it really is your fault. During breakups, there is the tendency to blame oneself. Don’t indulge in this. Some relationships last, some are just not meant to be – just leave it at that.

Make time for yourself. It’s important to maintain your personality and individuality even when you’re in a relationship. This is to make sure that even if your relationship ends, you still know who you are.

Do you know what you’re looking for in your next relationship? Jumping to a new relationship just to forget the old one is a big mistake. You know what went wrong in your old flame so show some learning curve in the next one. And more importantly, give yourself time to find your new romance. Going through it one step at a time will make it more fun for you to give love another shot.

Source: Alex (LIFESPY)