Monday, May 18, 2009


Moving On After Your Husband Dumps You

You had the marriage everybody envied, the beautiful house, two children and a loving husband. Overnight without any warning you’ve lost it all. By a single callous act by your husband your home has been torn apart. Marriages take a lot of work and effort and one usually invests in it as an endeavour of a lifetime, showering it with single minded love, devotion and attention. The process of creating a perfect home calls for a lot of sacrifices and some women forget any other existence. In this scenario when a man dumps the woman unannounced it can be devastating.To begin with it can seem almost unreal and leave a woman reeling under the shock of being dumped unceremoniously for no obvious fault of hers. The shock gives way to grief, anger, insecurity, uncertainty all rolled into one. It can take a long time to come to terms with reality and even accept it. Especially when there had been no warning signs or no particular discord or disagreement, being slapped with a divorce notice can be terribly difficult to handle. However, it is something that does happen and women have to learn to cope with it and move on.

Accepting Reality

When one is faced with a circumstance that is heart breaking like a callous partner slapping a divorce notice, the natural instinct might be to hide away from the world and pretend everything was just fine. Not facing up to reality though does not change anything. The reality to face is that someone you loved and trusted has let you down. You might have given up several personal dreams and ambitions so you could build a home that was filled with love and security. You may have children whose very world revolves around the two of you. In such a circumstance it can seem like life is so terribly unfair.Being short changed by a callous partner might make you feel bitter and shattered. You might reach a point where you feel like you just cannot go on and that everything that you lived for was lost. Difficult as it might be at such times it is important to hang in there and not become a victim of someone else’s callous act.

You cannot change an unpleasant situation but what you can do is help yourself move on and heal. The first step to moving on from being abandoned is to accept reality. Understand that your partner wants out and that while you may lose him you shouldn’t lose what you are entitled to and the chance of a new and better future for yourself.

Get Your Share

While coming to terms with a partner handing a divorce notice might leave you feeling helpless and lonely don’t let the situation short change you more than it should. Reach out to family and friends for support. If you feel it would help you to speak to a third party you can seek counselling.

If you have children let them be your priority and ensure that they know you still love them and will do your best to continue to give them the lifestyle they know. Don’t let your partner’s act close your eyes to what you are entitled to. Speak to a good lawyer and know your rights and make sure that you come off well settled and without financial loss.The least your partner can do is to ensure that you and the children are well settled and have no financial worries. It may be clichéd but if you love someone you must set them free, if they are meant to come back they will else you will find some far more worthy of your love.

Life is a combination of doing the right thing and being positive. Doing the right and smart thing would be to seek legal counsel so your partner will not get away without giving you what you deserve. Being positive means reaching out to friends, understanding that your attitude will dictate your future and that of your children.

Conclusion

It is easy to get pedantic and dish out advice to people in an unhappy situation than having to go through it yourself. However, the bottom line is that line does come a full circle and this too shall pass. While you should be allowed to grieve and moan the loss of a great life you had built, never go too far down that road that you forget that you are an individual and you have the right to a better life. Instead of looking at a divorce as an end , look it at it as a whole new beginning.


Source: James Walsh (ArticleDashboard.com)

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